Saturday, September 26, 2015

Question: Lapse?

90 ...
In a circle of familiar folks, you are engaged in a lively conversation.  Suddenly, you catch yourself unable to recall a name, even though you have a visual of the person's face in your mind's eye.  You also want to use a word, but could not get it out of your memory bank.  You make excuses.  Eventually, you drop the situations and try to catch up with the progressing conversation, and topic switches.  You could not help the unease that creeps.  In split of a second, you are in an environment of panic.  You second guess what is going on; you worry, and then deny the possible fact of lapse.  You jar your whole being and wake up.  You tell yourself you are still in control.  You must not let the condition worsen or you will diminish your confidence as well.  You best get your suspicions checked while time is young!

Question: Friendship?

89 …
Connections with others of close nature elevate our esteem and happiness.  With connections present and alive, we know we belong and could count on sharing both our mundane thoughts and deepest emotions one with another.  Unavoidable however, disappointing situations like false pride and coldness do come in between and among friends.  When we get over them and really try not to make them fester within and between us, we come out winners.  When we let pride and coldness get in the way of relationships however, we surely know they would precede death of friendships.  If we do not swallow them both, they would definitely put barriers between and around close friendships.  Consequences of those lead to sorrowful, miserable, and agonizing feelings.  Coldness and false pride ruin friendships and leave sour and bitter taste beyond compare.  They invite regret over what could be beautiful, and lasting relationships. 

Question: Discard?

88 …
From excessive, senseless, and impulsive material buys, one can accumulate numerous items that have quick interest loss.  When they get out of hand, there's no telling where they may end up.  You could try to put away things of curiosity thinking someone you know would gladly have them and appreciate them.  If you could not do just that, you could stash them in 'things of beauty drawers' for easy access on occasions requiring extraordinary gifting. When numerous items accumulate through the years however, you are left with no choice but to discard, donate, and sell them.  Discarding items is the trickiest of the three since it implies disposing and piling in garbage somewhere, if not in a dump.  You must remind yourself too that attachment to "discardable" things contributes a painful necessity in the process, yet you best decisively do it or you will not attempt it again.  

Question: Passion?

87 ...
Many folks find service to others their passion.  Just go to a 'Meals on Wheels' house office anywhere in town around the USA; you will find eager and very committed souls excited in identifying, meeting and serving people shut-in by illness, disability or any other extenuating circumstance. They are loved and cared for by volunteer neighbors determined to brighten up faces of the needy and the lonely.  There are people who find joy as well in donating their excess time to anyone in need or cause.  At any given time, you hear about a community benefit run for a cure of an illness, a fund raising for organizing children's playgrounds, raising vegetable gardens, cleanup of streets and roads to keep the environment healthy.  When people successfully find their interest and unite that with service to others, a sweet explosion of good is revealed.  You must find out where your passion lies.  You couldn't just exist for yourself, after all.  Finding your passion and acting on it engender fulfilling rewards!

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Question: Forgive?

86 ...
Intentionally or not, THEY put me in precarious and dangerous environments and hands.  I always wondered why and how biological parents lived with those.  Before I was even seven, I had lived in a one room home without utilities.  I had lived under one's house out in the open, and slept exposed to damaging weather elements for many nights.  Fear followed me often.  I had been taken for many long and tiring walks asking for alms. I had lived through poverty and hunger for quite some time.  I had marketed, cooked and cleaned homes I shared with siblings when we were together.  Even though I had a biological father, I grew up without one around.  Worse of all worst situations, I was left within reach and abuse of a pedophile who liked to be called and considered Ama.  What a dark childhood that was.  I could never freely talk about any or all of it, so I write, in a nutshell, now.  Forgiveness, I time and time heard, releases all traumatic experiences and cleanses the mind/heart.  It is not an easy idea to act upon forgiveness.  Why should I forget and forgive?

Question: Splurge?

85 ...
You work hard and keep on doing so for a very long time.  In all that time spent in repeated labor, you penny pinch and focus only on saving for something or for rainy days.  You wake up one day and ask yourself, "Why on earth am I doing this to myself?"  You want to kick your butt.  You want to slap your face so you could make sense of what you have done to your hard-earned dough and yourself.  Finally you convince yourself to stop denying earthly and material craving.  The devil in your head rejoices.  Here you go.  It is about time to splurge, don’t you agree?

Question: Rent?

84 ...
Buying property, an up step in climbing economic ladder and upscaling social status, is just all around wonderful until you face the reality of maintenance.  No wonder that after a time, when you get overwhelmingly exhausted by repeated renovation and clean up, you reach a certain disillusioned point!  Renting your property to someone you hope and pray will love it is a huge task; not many people, who require a place in which to reside, would love it much as you do.  So is finding a realtor/manager who would care for and about it is also a pain.  It is perhaps better to sell property that you no longer can maintain.  By so doing, you rid yourself of the huge responsibility.  Are you ready to sell or are you up for the laborious lessor role?

Question: Buy?

83 ...
Grieve over the sale of my SUV Ford Lincoln MKX, I did not even have time.  While away thousands of miles, I got notice that it sold.  The note was jolting.  It froze me even though it was just about a car, one more material thing to dispense and rid of if I were to live a streamlined life.  Still, I had mixed emotions over its sale.  After all, I had it for many long and short trips.  It was good company and a means to get away and do errands with.  I sat in it ploughing through thoughts that needed to be weighed.  I drove in it hoping to sort through decisions.  Buying a new car with which to build "some kind of a relationship" is tough.  Questions of which type, and for what need or convenience, always pop … very hard deliberations.  Which economical next car fits both my need and comfort?

Question: Sort?

82...
I look around this temporary home I would have to live for a time.  Don't get me wrong.  I appreciate it and I am thankful for it.  Now that I have been uprooted for the _nth time from my homes (What I thought were to be my retirement homes, anyway, may after all not to be so!), I would have to live with this one now looking and feeling literally like a warehouse.  All household items from my two homes are packed like sardines in this 1960’s brick farmhouse!  Race now commences to sort and decide what must sell, stay, and donate.  The question is by which measure should my sorting decisions be made?