I just sat there and let my sister lecture me about Mother's need for privacy, for a place of her own in which she could be comfortably settled to do whatever she wished. The drawback is that it would have to be at my place, and at my expense, just as it had been for more than twenty-from vie years or so. I let her litany of rationalization, and her so called expert opinion of emotional scheme of things affecting Mother's psychological climate, and her tenable transitional living situation at another sibling's home, dominate the conversational plot. Why did I not verbalize my own thoughts or just threw at her my built-up, bottled and erupting turmoil over seemingly unending charge of Mother's care over the years? Why did I not just throw at her that I am fed up with being left out to dry by seven other siblings? I wanted to tell her that if she were so concerned about Mother's personal space and privacy attended, she could as well take her in her own home. I should've, but didn't. I was not ready for the trigger it might inject on her equally fragile internal weather. I, in return, felt uneasily frozen over my numbness!
Monday, May 25, 2015
Defeat?
48 ...
I just sat there and let my sister lecture me about Mother's need for privacy, for a place of her own in which she could be comfortably settled to do whatever she wished. The drawback is that it would have to be at my place, and at my expense, just as it had been for more than twenty-from vie years or so. I let her litany of rationalization, and her so called expert opinion of emotional scheme of things affecting Mother's psychological climate, and her tenable transitional living situation at another sibling's home, dominate the conversational plot. Why did I not verbalize my own thoughts or just threw at her my built-up, bottled and erupting turmoil over seemingly unending charge of Mother's care over the years? Why did I not just throw at her that I am fed up with being left out to dry by seven other siblings? I wanted to tell her that if she were so concerned about Mother's personal space and privacy attended, she could as well take her in her own home. I should've, but didn't. I was not ready for the trigger it might inject on her equally fragile internal weather. I, in return, felt uneasily frozen over my numbness!
I just sat there and let my sister lecture me about Mother's need for privacy, for a place of her own in which she could be comfortably settled to do whatever she wished. The drawback is that it would have to be at my place, and at my expense, just as it had been for more than twenty-from vie years or so. I let her litany of rationalization, and her so called expert opinion of emotional scheme of things affecting Mother's psychological climate, and her tenable transitional living situation at another sibling's home, dominate the conversational plot. Why did I not verbalize my own thoughts or just threw at her my built-up, bottled and erupting turmoil over seemingly unending charge of Mother's care over the years? Why did I not just throw at her that I am fed up with being left out to dry by seven other siblings? I wanted to tell her that if she were so concerned about Mother's personal space and privacy attended, she could as well take her in her own home. I should've, but didn't. I was not ready for the trigger it might inject on her equally fragile internal weather. I, in return, felt uneasily frozen over my numbness!
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